Conversation Piece

Sometimes I want to scream.  Get these twisted, wretched feelings out of me. But I’m afraid if I start, I might never stop.

Why can’t my emotions just listen to the cries of pain they are giving my heart? I want to let go of all this sadness and hurt. I want to get rid of this that plagues me so much. I’m so worn down from experiencing nights of tears and days of drooping faces and forced smiles. What is wrong with just forgetting? It haunts me more when I even bring up that idea. Grinning when I ponder the dark things I play at torturing myself with.

How can a person bring themselves to this low. I am not going to string up a rope but I feel I have a heavy spirit. So much weighs me down. Things I can not even fathom. When someone doesn’t want to put effort into seeing me it cuts like a knife of sharp reality. Its like reminding me that what I imagine that people think of me is true. I never really know. Only actions and words can give me a glimpse of how they truly feel.